More Fables

More Fables

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More Fables by George Ade

Published:

1900

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More Fables

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The Fable of How Uncle Brewster was Too Shifty for the Tempter.--The Fable of the Grass Widow and the Mesmeree and the Six Dollars.--The Fable of the Honest Money-Maker and the Partner of His Joys, Such as They Were.--The Fable of Why Sweetie Flew the Track.--The Fable of the Ex-Chattel and the Awful Swat that was Waiting for the Colonel.--The Fable of the Corporation Director and the Mislaid Ambition.--The Fable of What Happened the Night the Men Came to the Women's Club.--The Fable of Why Essie's Tall Friend Got the Fresh Air.--The Fable of the Michigan Counterfeit Who Wasn't One Thing or the Other.--The Fable of the Adult Girl Who Got Busy Before They Could Ring the Bell on Her.--The Fable of the Man-Grabber Who Went Out of His Class.--The Fable of the Inveterate Joker who Remained in Montana.--The Fable of the Cruel Insult and the Arrival of the Lover from No. 6.--The Fable of the Lodge Fiend, and the Delilah Trick Played by His Wife.--The Fable of the Apprehensive Sparrow and Her Daily Escape.--The Fable of the Regular Customer and the Copper-Lined Entertainer.--The Fable of Lutie, the False Alarm, and How She Finished about the Time that She Started.--The Fable of the Cotillon Leader from the Huckleberry District with the Intermittent Memory.--The Fable of the He-Gossip and the Man's Wife and the Man.--The Fable of the Author Who was Sorry for What He Did to Willie.

Book Excerpt

p>Henry was Patriotic as well as Pious. He had a Picture of Abraham Lincoln in the Front Room, which no one was permitted to Enter, and he was glad that Slavery had been abolished.

Henry robbed the Cradle in order to get Farm-Hands. As soon as the Children were able to Walk without holding on, he started them for the Corn-Field, and told them to Pay for the Board that they had been Sponging off of him up to that Time. He did not want them to get too much Schooling for fear that they would want to sit up at Night and Read instead of Turning In so as to get an Early Start along before Daylight next Morning. So they did not get any too much, rest easy. And he never Foundered them on Stick Candy or Raisins or any such Delicatessen for sale at a General Store. Henry was undoubtedly the Tightest Wad in the Township. Some of the Folks who had got into a Box through Poor Management, and had been Foreclosed out of House and Home by Henry and his Lawyer, used to say that Henry was a Skin, and was too Stingy to g