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Odd Craft
Odd Craft
"Mr. Jacobs serenely continues to distribute wholesome food for laughter. These characters elicit fresh admiration for the inexhaustible inventions of their creator."--Spectator.
Book Excerpt
old Isaac woke
up from dreams of earthquakes to find Peter 'ad got jammed under 'is bed,
and was wondering what 'ad 'appened to 'im.
None of 'em was in the best o' tempers when they woke up next morning, and Ginger 'ad 'ardly got 'is eyes open before Isaac was asking 'im about 'is clothes agin.
"Don't bother me about your clothes," ses Ginger; "talk about something else for a change."
"Where are they?" ses Isaac, sitting on the edge of 'is bed.
Ginger yawned and felt in 'is waistcoat pocket--for neither of 'em 'ad undressed--and then 'e took the pawn-ticket out and threw it on the floor. Isaac picked it up, and then 'e began to dance about the room as if 'e'd gone mad.
"Do you mean to tell me you've pawned my clothes?" he shouts.
"Me and Peter did," ses Ginger, sitting up in bed and getting ready for a row.
Isaac dropped on the bed agin all of a 'cap. "And wot am I to do?" he ses.
"If you be'ave yourself," ses Ginger, "and give us our money, me and Peter'll go and get 'em out agin.
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(1909) Humor ( On shore sailors tales) / Short story collection
R: * * * * *
Plot bullets
The stories
THE MONEY-BOX
o Two sailors let a third, take care of their money, while they are on shore.
o He guards the money per the agreement, so that the sailors will have some left at the end of their shore leave.
o A man who keeps his word, turns out, not to be what they really wanted.
THE CASTAWAY
o A sailor returns after two years, due to a ship wreck.'
o He was thought dead.
o His problems really begin when an astrologer puts and evil twist on his return.
BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT
o At the suggestion of one man, another fakes a water rescue, to impress his girl.
o A quick decision, turns the tables on the first man.
BILL'S LAPSE
o Two sailors persist in belittling a third sailor into drinking with them.
o The third sailor has sworn off drinking.
o It was best to leave well-enough alone.
LAWYER QUINCE
o Not really a lawyer, a boot maker, who has read a few law books.
o His expertise is obtained on behalf of a suitor that is imprisoned in a barn.
o He was locked there by a girl's father, as he was an unwanted suitor, from the father's viewpoint.
o It is found out later, that it is the lawyer's son who is locked in the barn, and the would be lawyer regrets his advice he gave.
o The girl takes it into her own hands, to solve what is becoming a mounting feud.
BREAKING A SPELL
o A superstitious man gets into trouble when he thinks he is bewitched.
o He goes to a woman he thinks is a witch, to have the spell removed.
o The lady, who is no witch, has the last laugh on this backwards man.
ESTABLISHING RELATIONS
o A sailor chooses a novel way to meet a girl he sees in a window.
o He shows up at the door and pretends to be her brother who has been at sea for a log time. They are similar in looks and it has been a log time since she saw him last.
o Doesn't seem it would work, right? Well, depends on what your after.
THE CHANGING NUMBERS
o A man wants to get revenge on a policeman.
o A man who loves his daughter, sees this as an opportunity to make good.
o He steals the helmet and night stick of the policeman and presents it to his love's father.
o Well, he pretended to do so with help from the policeman.
o Now the task to appease the father is multiplied.
THE PERSECUTION OF BOB PRETTY
o The story of a rascally poacher and those who try to stop him.
o The poacher is always one step ahead.
DIXON'S RETURN
o Man and wife have a fight. She regrets marrying a wimp.
o The man goes to sea.
o He comes back, toughened.
o Now hardened, he will be the man of the house.
A SPIRIT OF AVARICE
o A man comes home from the sea, just two weeks after his own funeral.
o Thought dead in a ship wreck, his widow collects money from charity.
o The payments are stopped.
o Now the man needs to find a way to get money he feels is still due him.
THE THIRD STRING
o A man likes a lady.
o Her older boyfriend won't have it and picks a fight.
o The older man wins.
o Or, has he?
ODD CHARGES
o A man tries to get back at a traveling conman.
o It was the old smashed watch trick and doesn't go well.
ADMIRAL PETERS
o A sailor asks a friend to build him up in the eyes of the woman he loves.
o He elevates his old mess mate to Admiral, to impress the woman.
o Praise from an Admiral should impress her.
o The old friend has his own agenda.
Once again, Jacobs, aids the old night watchman, in telling sailors tales of the peril on shore. See 'Night Watches'.
R: * * * * *
Plot bullets
The stories
THE MONEY-BOX
o Two sailors let a third, take care of their money, while they are on shore.
o He guards the money per the agreement, so that the sailors will have some left at the end of their shore leave.
o A man who keeps his word, turns out, not to be what they really wanted.
THE CASTAWAY
o A sailor returns after two years, due to a ship wreck.'
o He was thought dead.
o His problems really begin when an astrologer puts and evil twist on his return.
BLUNDELL'S IMPROVEMENT
o At the suggestion of one man, another fakes a water rescue, to impress his girl.
o A quick decision, turns the tables on the first man.
BILL'S LAPSE
o Two sailors persist in belittling a third sailor into drinking with them.
o The third sailor has sworn off drinking.
o It was best to leave well-enough alone.
LAWYER QUINCE
o Not really a lawyer, a boot maker, who has read a few law books.
o His expertise is obtained on behalf of a suitor that is imprisoned in a barn.
o He was locked there by a girl's father, as he was an unwanted suitor, from the father's viewpoint.
o It is found out later, that it is the lawyer's son who is locked in the barn, and the would be lawyer regrets his advice he gave.
o The girl takes it into her own hands, to solve what is becoming a mounting feud.
BREAKING A SPELL
o A superstitious man gets into trouble when he thinks he is bewitched.
o He goes to a woman he thinks is a witch, to have the spell removed.
o The lady, who is no witch, has the last laugh on this backwards man.
ESTABLISHING RELATIONS
o A sailor chooses a novel way to meet a girl he sees in a window.
o He shows up at the door and pretends to be her brother who has been at sea for a log time. They are similar in looks and it has been a log time since she saw him last.
o Doesn't seem it would work, right? Well, depends on what your after.
THE CHANGING NUMBERS
o A man wants to get revenge on a policeman.
o A man who loves his daughter, sees this as an opportunity to make good.
o He steals the helmet and night stick of the policeman and presents it to his love's father.
o Well, he pretended to do so with help from the policeman.
o Now the task to appease the father is multiplied.
THE PERSECUTION OF BOB PRETTY
o The story of a rascally poacher and those who try to stop him.
o The poacher is always one step ahead.
DIXON'S RETURN
o Man and wife have a fight. She regrets marrying a wimp.
o The man goes to sea.
o He comes back, toughened.
o Now hardened, he will be the man of the house.
A SPIRIT OF AVARICE
o A man comes home from the sea, just two weeks after his own funeral.
o Thought dead in a ship wreck, his widow collects money from charity.
o The payments are stopped.
o Now the man needs to find a way to get money he feels is still due him.
THE THIRD STRING
o A man likes a lady.
o Her older boyfriend won't have it and picks a fight.
o The older man wins.
o Or, has he?
ODD CHARGES
o A man tries to get back at a traveling conman.
o It was the old smashed watch trick and doesn't go well.
ADMIRAL PETERS
o A sailor asks a friend to build him up in the eyes of the woman he loves.
o He elevates his old mess mate to Admiral, to impress the woman.
o Praise from an Admiral should impress her.
o The old friend has his own agenda.
Once again, Jacobs, aids the old night watchman, in telling sailors tales of the peril on shore. See 'Night Watches'.
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